My Blog

I got stung…by Tori Amos that is. I’ve always liked her shivering delivery, and deeply emotional lyrics hidden behind playful rhythm and harmony. Take for example the song, " Sleeps with Butterflies." I liked the way it sounded but I became hooked when I dug up the words. . .

It felt like it was a song for women like me, who seem to be out there, searching for that person who would make you want to settle down and give up the "cosmo" lifestyle we all use as a defense mechanism for still being single. The song sort of narrates how we meet someone new, who for one night lead us to think that he could be the one. Then it moves on to that thrilling first kiss and a lot of other firsts…Which is followed by…floating in oblivion…not knowing what to do next…Why? Cause we are aware that the move is not for ours to take…Suddenly, after a round in the sack, we are the hunter and not the hunted…As Tori puts it: ARE YOU HAVING REGRETS ABOUT LAST NIGHT? The dreaded day after…when reality settles in…when he hasn’t called…or he has, but can only think about one thing he wants from you…

Further on to the chorus: You say the words, you know I will find you, Or if you need some time I don’t mind. I don’t hold on to the tail of your kite…Hmmm, when did the world change and men are the ones who need time? Time to give up all the fun and decide we are worth taking the serious plunge for? It seems that I’ve accepted this to be true, swallowed whole that I usually hope and think that every date would turn out to be that great thing waiting to happen…but I have to compromise. I have to act cool…I have to hide how I feel…Careful not to make anyone feel too wanted, enough to drive them away…

Maybe I’m in too much of a hurry. Maybe I should learn to take things slower than the usual pace I push my limits to. As she sings: I’m not like the girls that you’ve known, but I believe I’m worth coming home to.  Yeah…I’m not the usual Pinay who’s only goal in life is to get married and have kids…But it doesn’t mean I don’t want a family. I’m not your typical selosa, not the stereotype wife you bring home to your mom. For most parts, I’m the trophy that’s gets shown around a couple of dates, or the interesting conversation you sometimes need, or the provider of whatever need you may want at the moment…So, I am sleeping with butterflies…cause I let them grow their wings, in hopes that they would come flying back when they are the men I wanted them to be…But they never do.

This entry was posted on Friday, May 11th, 2007 at 11:53 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.